Friday Follies: Possessions

Posted on June 2, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

Okay! The question of the day that was supposed to pique my interest and inspire me to write was:

What personal belongings do you hold most dear?

My first thoughts on this were, to a degree, unprintable in a polite blog like mine. Then I realized it was not the muse’s prompt that bothered me. It was my view of life that made me react that way.

I was raised in a world where everything was temporary, even family. Yes, in my childhood, my brother and I learned early on that here today, gone tomorrow was more than a saying, regardless of the thing in question.

The first loss I remember was our family dog when I was five or six. A neighbor poisoned her because she kept escaping from our yard and invading his space. That was the first time I remember being told, “Big boys, don’t cry.”

The big boys don’t cry mantra was something I learned well by the time I was a teenager. Every pet we had disappeared for one reason or another over the years. Sometimes we heard some fairy tale about our pet needing a better home or someone needing a pet more than we did. Whatever the truth, if pets were that disposable in our lives, how precious could material things be?

Over the years, a few things meant something special and more than others. My first real gun, for example, was special. We were into quick-draw competitions at one time, and I was given a 22-caliber Colt single-action six-shooter so I could compete. I had it for years, but it was just a tool. Eventually, I sold it to buy something I wanted more.

Over the years, I’ve come to understand why life was like that for my family. That has not helped much in the area of possessions or personal belongings. I have a few possessions I care about, but none I hold dear, as I understand the term.

What I have are memories. Some I hold dear, and some I really wish I could forget. However, the memories I wish I could forget are the ones that helped me remember what not to do as a father, husband, and friend.

© oneoldcop.com – 2023

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More Than a Name

Posted on May 30, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

The original version of this was posted in May 2020.

David Charles Marshall Jackson was his name. The poor kid was named after his great-grandfather, grandfather, and father. That’s the price one pays to be the second son whose older brother was not stuck with ancestral names. You get them all, at least in the Ballard-Jackson clan in 1947. Yet, regardless of the reason for our names, we are each more than a name.  

In David’s case, he did his best to stand out as something other than the vessel carrying the memories of others. And he was lucky in a way. By the time he was born, we’d already been through the saga of nicknames or diminutive names with my given name. If that little battle had not been fought before his arrival, he’d have been known as little Davy or little Charley for the rest of his life. Thanks to our great-grandfather’s no-nonsense demeanor, David was David from birth. 

Names matter in ways beyond simple identification and differentiation. Yet, the primary purpose of a name in society is identification. Think of a first-grade teacher riding herd on a dozen or so students. Without names, the teacher would call out something like, “Hey! You, the little boy in the red shirt in the back left corner of the room.” Instead, the teacher can say, “David, can you read the first line on the board?”

Yet, we are much more than a name. For example, at this moment, if someone googled my first and last name, they might find a former professional basketball player. They could find some academic types, as my given name and surname seem to have pushed many people into research, teaching, and writing, myself included. However, each person found would be different in many ways, bringing me to this piece’s point.

According to the latest figures I could find, David is one of 58,318 Vietnam casualties whose names are on the Wall. Of course, there are thousands upon thousands more names in cemeteries, on other monuments, and in government records listing those who died in the service of our country. Wherever the name is found, remember that it is more than letters engraved on a wall, a headstone, or another marker.

Each of those names represents a human being. They were a child, brother, sister, husband, father, wife, mother, or some combination of those identities. Their sacrifice left a hole in someone’s heart. A hole that may never heal.

More Than a Name on a Wall*

*Click to see and hear a musical tribute to those listed on the Wall. An ad may pop up first, but you can skip it after a few seconds.

© oneoldcop.com – 2023

Posted in National Defense, Uncategorized, Veterans, Vietnam | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Memorially Speaking*

Posted on May 29, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

I have been hard-pressed not to editorialize over Memorial Day this year. Instead, let me say simply it is a holiday with a disputed history and an often misunderstood focus. Currently, we designate the last Monday in May as Memorial Day.

For more than a century, that was not the case. It was celebrated on May 30 without regard for the day of the week. Today, the date changes annually, and the reason for the holiday is confusing to many.

For people like me, there is no confusion. Memorial Day is not the unofficial first day of summer. It is not the day the swimming pools traditionally open and is not a celebration of all who served in the military.

It is the day we honor those who died in military service. It is the day to remember those making the ultimate sacrifice, so you and I can swim, grill, and look forward to sunburns and time at the lake. As with all issues of this nature, there are still reasons to enjoy the holiday.

First, most people have a three-day weekend. Then there are all the special events, pool openings, golf tournaments, races, etc. It’s a long weekend that will let them take a break from reality and relax. It is also a long weekend that makes the significance of May 30 dim in the minds of many.

For people like me, it is the beginning of time for remembering and honoring those we lost. It is also time to remember the cost of those losses. It is a time of remembrance lasting from Friday until the 30th, which is Tuesday this year.

My brother’s funeral, KIA Vietnam, February 1969.

One way to honor and remember those making the ultimate sacrifice is through music. Over the years, I found several songs that do just that. Here, I want to share a song that may not have been written to memorialize fallen members of the armed services. Yet, in many ways, it does.

As the song makes clear, everyone lives and dies. We should strive to live life to the fullest as long as we can. Sadly, many of us fail to push the envelope and make memories that will stay with us to the end. Most of the men and women we celebrate and remember on Memorial Day lost their opportunity to sample all life has to offer.

If Memorial Day means more to you than hot dogs, beer, and pool time, click the link below, and check back in later, there may be more to come.

Not Every Man Lives**

*I originally posted this blog in May 2020. It seemed appropriate to share it again this year.

**An ad may pop up when YouTube opens. If so, you can skip the ad and watch the entire video after a few seconds. Also, the Memorial Day connection in this video takes a minute to become clear.

©oneoldcop.com – 2023

Posted in Holidays, Patriotism, Veterans, Vietnam | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday Follies: Arguing Perceptions

Posted on May 12, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

I love social media as much as I hate social media. Talk about a love/hate relationship. How could you not love keeping up with old friends from distant lands and ages past? Yes, it was fun decades ago to wait for the frequent or infrequent mail from someone you hadn’t seen in years and read about or see the changes in their lives.

It was also saddening to not hear from someone in a long time and wonder if they may have gone on to whatever awaits us after that last breath is taken. It was, even more saddening in some ways when you found out your worst fears had been realized.

It is especially saddening when you hear the bad news and know you allowed yourself to get so busy with the here, and now you forgot yesterday and tomorrow. I have encountered that reality more times than I care to acknowledge, even to myself.

That is why several dialogues I encountered today while researching a thought led me to share this piece. In one case, a person posted a comment concerning the changes in architectural standards for private homes over the last few decades. Another, who appeared to be more of a troll than a well-meaning participant of the group, commented in a contentious way, triggering multiple antagonistic exchanges.

Image by Phil Riley from Pixabay 

The same sort of exchange occurred in another venue. Sadly, one of the first respondents was someone who perceived the poster as attacking him. It did not matter that they did not know each other, and others did not see the situation that way. Still, the aggrieved party maintained the comments were offensive and inappropriate.

The problem is this. Our biases and responses to what we see as others’ biases are perceptual much of the time. They are based on how we were raised, how life influenced or damaged us, and how we perceive the situation.

Today’s common trope concerning bias and perception asks others not to judge someone unless they’ve walked in their shoes. The original version of this seems to include the condition phrase “walked a mile in my shoes.” Whichever one prefers, the admonition falls far short of reality.

A mile or a hundred miles is not enough time to understand someone. Neither is the idea of living the life another led for years. Each person learns differently, understands differently, and will feel differently, even if all have experienced the same situations, challenges, associations, etc.

So, what is my point here? I have two major issues, but I’ll only wind up with one now. The other may come later, but this is enough for now.

Social media is a gift and a curse, like music, writing talent, physical ability, and mental acuity. In some cases, they are great; in others, they will beat you to the ground.

Below are links to two pieces I wrote about one aspect of dealing with social media some years ago. Like this piece, they are wordy, but little understanding comes from short, pithy sayings, writings, memes, or chats. Understanding perceptions, biases, and how to deal with problems they cause you or you cause others has no six-word solution.

So Far As It Depends On You – Part 1

So Far As It Depends On You – Part 2

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Civility, communication, Daily Life, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

A Question of Involvement

Posted on May 10, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

Ah, another week, another writing challenge. Yes, my little online muse touched another nerve recently. At first glance, the prompt was simple enough, “What do you do to be involved in the community?” My mind races when I read something like this, and that is one of my curses. I am OVERLY analytical at times.

Overly analytical or not, the thoughts triggered by the above question deserve some attention. No, not my thoughts necessarily. If you do not tune me out about now, I will share some thoughts with you. Still, the thoughts I think are important are what others might think when they respond to such a question.

For many, the answer to the question above may be something like, “Huh?” In saying that, I am not taking a shot at folks for being unable to answer the question. The truth is that many people are involved in their communities but don’t think of it that way. No, they’re just living their lives, being a good neighbor, helping a friend or cause when possible, and hoping to keep food on the table.

Community Garden

Others may have a list of ways they feel they are involved. Whether they volunteer somewhere, donate to a community cause or agency, or do their share of keeping the community clean, uncluttered, and safe.

The last two paragraphs are based on study and experience. They are also based on some quick research I did before writing. The vast majority of my professional life has involved public service. That service ranged from decades in law enforcement to university-level teaching and volunteering in various organizations or entities supporting the community.

About now, some of you have a quizzical look and are muttering, “Do what?” under your breath. If so, I completely understand. For reasons I will explain in the follow-up to this piece, many people do not think of public servants such as police and fire personnel when asked about community involvement or service.

Friends, if your local cops, firefighters, emergency medical teams, animal control personnel, and other public servants are not involved in the community, you have a problem. Still, many people see the folks mentioned in the last sentence as low-level public servants who cannot get real jobs.

Have you ever wondered why that is? Stay tuned.

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Commitment, Daily Life, Family Vaules, Police, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Rule 39: Yes, or No?

Posted on May 10, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

One of the muses in my online life posed a writing prompt the other day. “Do you have a quote you live your life by or think of often?” My first thought was something along the lines of, “Are you kidding me? “Do you know how many so-called quotations aren’t and how often the person sharing them has no idea what they mean?”

At first, I thought to dismiss the prompt as a fledging AI attempting to show how great it was. You know, something like the sixth grader who made a “three-pointer” for the first time in basketball and is embarrassed trying to repeat the shot during practice the next day. After all, many of the quotations cited on social media are not outstanding bits of wisdom or legitimacy.

The quotation above is something one can hear regularly in some circles. If you do not already recognize it, the problem with the phrase is two-fold. First, it is highly debatable in the minds of many as it may be based on one faith system or another.

Second, attributing the comment to Leroy Jethro Gibbs is compounding the possibility of making a false assertion. If you are not aware, Gibbs is a character in a television series, and the comment is Gibbs’s “Rule 39.” At best, the term in question is the product of a scriptwriter or possibly a bit of plagiarism.

The preceding aside, I have concepts that might stem from misunderstood or fictitious situations. The no coincidences saying is one of those. If you research the thought, you’ll find it attributed to some members of the intelligentsia. You’ll also find it attributed to people of faith from one faith-based system to another. And today, you’ll find it attributed to a Tik-Tok guru with 600K followers.

You will not find coincidences or a clear example of a coincidence that wasn’t. Still, I, like many people, will look at an unlikely “coincidence” and wonder if the universe or some higher power has something to do with it. However, I do not live my life assuming every coincidence was orchestrated by something or someone.

On the other hand, I closely examine such circumstances, attempting to understand if there is more there than meets the eye. In more than a few instances, I believe there was something more than coincidence or luck at play.

For example, I know of one couple who grew up a few miles from each other and never met. They went to rival high schools and had friends in common but never met. After high school, they left their hometown for colleges hundreds of miles from each other. Both married, raised children, and divorced, swearing they would never marry again. Years later, they attended a Life Skills training program several years apart but never met.

Then years later, they were invited to a special event and celebration for someone involved in the training. Both were scheduled to be somewhere else that weekend, but strangely enough, both were forced to cancel those plans and reluctantly decided to attend the event.

The details from that point forward can be summarized like this. They were introduced to each other at the party, but they never spoke again beyond the greetings. A year later, they were married and have been together for twenty-nine great years.

Yeah! Meeting at that party was just a coincidence. Talking her into going out with me took every bit of negotiation skill I had.

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Christianity, Commitment, Humor, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

Friday Follies: The Joy of Camping

Posted on May 5, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

I, and a slew of other bloggers, were challenged to write something based on the question, “Have you ever been camping?” My first reaction was to go on about my business of the day and see if anything more exciting came up from the prompting source. Then, my twisted way of looking at things clicked in, and here we are.

First, camping was not one of our regular recreational activities when I was growing up. Once I became an adult, I only went camping when I felt obligated to put myself through the wringer for a friend, a job, or whatever.

Before finishing high school, I spent half my life living in rural settings. If I wanted to experience many of the “joys” of camping, all I needed to do was open the window to my bedroom, sleep on the back porch, or get up and walk outside to eliminate the fluid and solid waste my body generated during the day.

So, the idea of going somewhere to camp when I could have many of the same experiences within a few steps of my bedroom seemed silly. My short time in the Army National Guard was the last nail in the coffin of any desire I had to go camping.

It was ludicrous in several ways. However, it was especially damaging to any ideas of camping I might have harbored. Of course, the army did not call it camping. It was bivouacking. My first and only experience with bivouacking was in New Jersey in the late fall and early winter of 1968.

By the time finished basic and advanced infantry training at Fort Dix, I was damn well certain any camping was not one of my things. If I did decide to go camping in the future, it would be a nice little camp with sturdy heated cabins. Also, it would be within a short drive to a restaurant or bar. Of course, I’d settle for a nice place with RV hookups and good satellite reception today.

Yes, camping is a joy for some and a downright horrible experience for many. The Fort Dix experience was a two-fold folly for me and some others with whom I served. We were training for the jungles in Vietnam, during a winter period when the temperature during the day was around 5 degrees Fahrenheit.

Don’t believe me? Click here to read another’s piece about his Fort Dix experience.

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Humor, National Defense, Politics, Uncategorized, Veterans, Vietnam | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Friday Follies: Serendipity or Intervention?

Posted on April 21, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

Have you had one of those “small world” moments? You know, you’re on vacation or a business trip, and you meet someone for the first time, and circumstances or something leads to an information exchange that leads to, “Dang, it is a small world!”

Admittedly, some small world moments are not magical or surprising. For instance, at my high school class reunion a few reunions ago, I felt a hand on my arm and looked around to see an attractive lady with a big smile on her face. I had absolutely no idea who she was, but she knew me.

No! It was not some forgotten one-night stand or after a rugby match beer party acquaintance. I was older than her, but we’d lived in the same neighborhood years earlier. So, this was not a big, small world moment.

It was simply two people who had known each other at one time, crossing paths unexpectedly. What makes it a small-world sort of event is that it was my reunion, she was a guest of one of my classmates, and I had been living in another part of the state for years. Then there was the incident that started out as a “funny seeing you here” happenstance that ended up very meaningful.

It started with a trip to Costco with my wife. As we were walking up to the entrance, she stopped and said, “Joan?!” A lady I’d never seen before looked up and said, “Candy?” Of course, the small world moment did not end there.

As the two ladies changed directions slightly and were coming together, I looked past “Joan.” Walking behind her was a man I knew. One I had not seen in years. I said, “Scott!?” Scott said, “Eric?” The two ladies looked at each other, looked at us, and said simultaneously, “You know each other?”

Yes, we knew each other. We’d worked together for several years before Scott moved out of state for a promotion. While he was out of state building up his resume to allow him to seek an even higher-level position, I moved back to my hometown.  

Unbeknownst to me, a few years before we ran into each other, he’d landed the new position he was wanting in my hometown. That is when our wives met at a Jazzercise class.

This was an amazing little, small world or coincidental meeting that turned out to be much more than that. For several years, we were a foursome. We did all the things friends do together until four years ago.

Yes, four years ago, we had our last meal together. It was a Valentine’s Day dinner and the last time we saw Scott. A few days later, they joined another couple for a Caribbean getaway, and Joan came home a widow.

Scott’s loss was difficult. His best friend and colleague took his death extremely hard and considered Scott’s decision to swim in heavy tides as reckless behavior that should never have happened. His angst made him withdraw from Joan, and me, for that matter.

Joan is intelligent and resilient. She would have made it through the mourning and adjusting period on her own. However, her family was hundreds of miles away, and Scott’s oldest comrade in arms, you might say, withdrew from her world.

Think what you will. Whether it was a chance meeting, a gift from the universe, or the God of the Bible had a hand in it, the meeting at Costco was more than an accident. Candy and I have been blessed to be there for our friend.

Image by Denis Fomin from Pixabay

Photo by Sebastian Arie Voortman: Rough Waves

© oneoldcop.com 2023

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Subjectively Painful?

Posted on April 12, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

Relatively Painful was a rant, expression of bemusement, and chapter of a personal saga. Another blogger’s response to that piece led me down a path of discovery that I will share at another time. However, a post by another writer the day after Easter moved me to say something now.

My point in Relatively Painful was pain’s subjectivity getting in the way of categorizing pain effectively. At least, it can when it comes to treatment. As I discovered by doing a little research, I am not the only person who feels that way. Several medical and academic works seemed to reach similar conclusions.

The blog inspiring today’s post brought up a more immediate concern. Pain is not always physical. Certainly, if you have a normally functioning nerve system, you will feel something if nature calls in the middle of the night and you stub your toe while trying to make it to the toilet without waking your bedmate.

However, physical pain may not be the only pain you feel when your toe runs into an immovable object. If you were doing your best to hold in whatever woke you up until you reached the toilet and the pain overrides your control, you may feel a new form of pain.

The new pain might be caused by your embarrassment and fear of admitting what happened to the person you were attempting to avoid waking. Yes, according to some sources, pain is not only physical. It can be psychological as well.

My buddy Sinn

The post moving me to share this piece discussed such pain. Pain that is not caused by an injury, infection, or microscopic organism attacking your body. Rather, it is caused by circumstances, psychological issues, and thoughts.

Some may think such pain is not real. Others may think it is real, but we should remember the childhood chant from ages gone by ending with “Words will never hurt me.” They will think such pain is only real if you let it be real.

I can attest to the fact pain triggered by an injury, as well as pain triggered by circumstances, can be felt. Does that mean the pain I felt when my parents had my closest childhood friend put down because the veterinarian thought that was the humane thing to do hurt less than the pain I felt flying over the handlebars of my motorcycle and landing face down on a gravel road?

No! Both of those incidents hurt deeply. The difference was the nature of the pain. Hitting the gravel road at speed was standing under a shower of hot rocks peeling the skin off your face and arms. It was the pain you felt when you skinned your knee falling on the sidewalk, magnified a few hundred times.

Walking into the house after school and finding out your best non-human friend, protector, and snuggle-buddy on a cold night was “put out of his misery” was different. It was a sickening feeling in the stomach and a hollowness in the chest. It was the feeling of trying to breathe, but the pain in your chest was so bad you couldn’t.

There was another difference as well. The pain from the wounds inflicted by the gravel lasted for days, and the signs of the encounter were visible for weeks. The pain of losing Sinn is always there, hiding behind some other memory, just waiting to remind me there is more to hurt than nerve damage.

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Medicine, Uncategorized, Writing | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

Speaking of Prognostication*

Posted on April 5, 2023 by S. Eric Jackson

Not long after the election of 2016, I wrote Tweet This. It was a long-winded rant about the new president’s penchant for fighting back when attacked politically. That has often been a terrible strategy for someone in public office.1

They are supposed to be above the fray. Either that, or they were supposed to find a more subtle way to deal with the matter. Primarily, they are supposed to find a way to minimize coverage of the accusations, falsehoods, or outright gossip thrown at the person being attacked.

That was not, and still isn’t, former president Trump’s style. He is a brawler, and as his son made clear on a morning news show recently, he is not likely to change. I tend to agree with the younger Trump’s opinion on the matter. However, as I wrote in Tweet This, the former president is heading down a rough road.

Who’s the crook here?

If he can prevail in the political conflict surrounding his every move, he may change the face of politics in the United States in a way it is hard to imagine. If he does not, the media will rule this country, and no president in the future will be willing to take the talking heads and their backers on.

In the previous paragraph, some may feel I am too pessimistic and dramatic. If that is the case, I will gladly admit my mistake, but I am not worried about making any apologies soon. The objective news media, if it ever truly existed, was praised by everyone in times past.

Today, objectivity and news are far down on the hierarchy of what drives journalists, reporters, commentators, experts, and anyone else falling into the information business category. Today, the objective is numbers. The number of viewers one can garner, the number of clicks one receives, and the size of the paycheck is more important to those in the media today than facts, objective reporting, and honesty.

Trump is still battling; only time will tell how this works out. Many believe the indictment by the New York District Attorney is simply another response to Trump’s challenging the establishment. How that matter turns out may be a harbinger of what will come.

Whether you like Trump, loathe Trump, or think he’s crazy, he has taken on the political power brokers and is still standing. Can he remain standing and successfully run for the presidency again? Only time will tell. However, as I said in Tweet This, the outcome will set the tone for future challengers who think they can change Washington and how it does business.

That was my prediction in 2017. It is still my prediction.

*I delayed publishing this to see how the indictment hearing went. There was a chance Trump would change his tune and be a bit less challenging in his response. That was not the case!

© oneoldcop.com 2023

Posted in Journalism, Political Extremes, Politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments