Who Gives a Poop?

Social Media and the twenty-four-hour news cycle have seriously affected society in the 21st Century. Okay, this is not news to anyone with half a brain and the ability to pay attention to anything more than their smartphone. Still, the depths so-called journalists, writers, commentators, talk show hosts, and others plumb to have something published, posted, or shared is almost unbelievable.

Here’s Why There May Be Poop In Your Lunch

Yes, one could charge I am sinking to the same depths at the moment. However, I have only used the term poop twice in a little over 100 words to make a point, unlike the writer whose work inspired this piece.

I can only imagine a stir-fried Caesar Salad!

The lead story headline on my start-up page the other day was the line above about poop in your lunch. The post continued for over 1,400 words, detailing all the horrible things that could happen to someone who dared to assume eating a salad was healthy.

The story quoted statistics, gave testimony from experts, and generally did its best to make certain anyone reading it would think long and hard about eating raw vegetables. In fact, at one point, an “expert” said people would be wise to cook their lettuce, especially Romaine.

To be as fair as possible, the writer did include comments and statistics that highlighted the low probability of someone contracting a serious illness from a poop-infused salad. The author of the piece also highlighted things consumers of fresh produce could do to minimize the danger.

However, the writer buried those comments in the story after many descriptive sentences detailing how feces could invade an agricultural area, potentially tainting the veggies. Yes, the writer mentioned the risk level after describing, in some detail, problems such as runoff from barns, feedlots, cow pastures, pig pens, chicken coops, and other sources that could potentially contaminate your Ceasar Salad.

The makings of a poopy salad.

Of course, the writer did not stop there. The piece also mentioned all the other sources of contamination. These included bird poop, wild animal poop, and the dried poop that might blow in on a stiff breeze.

So, if you’re not completely pooped out by now, remember one thing. These days, many of the posts online, especially on the start-up page, money-making websites, and certain social media platforms, are little more than clickbait, including poopy articles warning you that your veggies are trying to kill you.

© oneoldcop.com – 2022

About S. Eric Jackson

See "About."
This entry was posted in Daily Life, Food, Humor, Journalism, Uncategorized, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Who Gives a Poop?

  1. Eric, I like this post. It is about a subject rarely seen or read. I think the important part of all this is that the gut relies on a great deal of noxious matter that assists in digestion. It is also important that us humans do not live in a sterile environment, as that very fact makes us weak and subject to far more illnesses. We require our bodies to get used to food that is not ideal, but that assist our bodies to cope with adversity. The human race would die out if we always lived in a completely sterile environment.
    Thinking about it, the Chinese have used human waste in their gardens for centuries, and it has not done them any great harm.
    Keep up writing about these somewhat offbeat subjects, they make one think.
    Regards, Phil

    • Phil,

      Thanks for taking the time to comment. I tend to be an inspirational writer, by that I mean something inspires, or triggers, my creative side. This one got me going, not only because it was simply click-bait masquerading as news, but because it was outrageous in some ways. Also, thanks for bringing up the weakening of our immune systems. I remember when some medical types had the temerity to acknowledge that some decades ago. Sadly, since social media didn’t exist, most people never heard about it.

      Take care.

Leave a Reply