Ever wondered, ”What can I do differently?” If you haven’t, head for the closest bathroom, go in, lock the door, and question the person in the mirror. Or, if you’re 100% Gen Z, whip out your smartphone, put it in selfie mode, and talk to that character on the screen. You might even be able to record the conversation.

If you’re still reading, I’ve either piqued your curiosity, or you have too much time on your hands. Either way, give me a minute and see what you think.

If you’ve never asked yourself the question above, one of two things is true. You’ve either never screwed up big time, in a relationship or professional situation or when the nice police officer at your window asked for your driver’s license. Or worse, when your shrink or life coach asked the question.

My weird sense of humor aside, it is sometimes important to ask that question of yourself honestly. For instance, Scotty McCreery has a song titled Cab In A Solo playing on the radio. It is a wonderful ode to those who have played games with relationships at one time or another, and the character in that song realizes he might have done something differently.

When I say you should ask yourself that question occasionally, I do not mean the answer should always be, “Yes, I can do this differently!” Sometimes, the answer is, “Heck no!” Even in the case of bad outcomes or what others think is bad, you may have done the right thing.

For example, I was in the public sector for over four decades. I achieved many goals and was a recognized leader in my field. I traveled throughout the United States and part of Canada, representing my agency and other entities in law enforcement, conflict resolution, and diversity training.

I could have continued for some time, possibly landing in a high-level position at a major university or in the private sector, working with higher education. However, I could see things moving in a direction that made me uncomfortable. So, I retired instead of doing what I’d always done, trying to make a silk purse from a sow’s ear.

Many questioned my decision. I understood their point. I gave up a lot to walk away, but two decades later, I know my decision was correct.

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